Once there was a cat, and a parrot. And they had agreed to ask each other to dinner, turn and turn about: first the cat should ask the parrot, then the parrot should invite the cat, and so on. It was the cat’s turn first.
Now the cat was very mean. He provided nothing at all for dinner except a pint of milk, a little slice of fish, and a biscuit. The parrot was too polite to complain, but he did not have a very good time.
When it was his turn to invite the cat, he cooked a fine dinner. He had a roast of meat, a pot of tea, a basket of fruit, and, best of all, he baked a whole clothes-basketful of little cakes! — little, brown, crispy, spicy cakes! Oh, I should say as many as five hundred. And he put four hundred and ninety-eight of the cakes before the cat, keeping only two for himself. Well, the cat ate the roast, and drank the tea, and sucked the fruit, and then he began on the pile of cakes. He ate all the four hundred and ninety-eight cakes, and then he looked round and said:
“I’m hungry; haven’t you anything to eat?”
“Why,” said the parrot, “here are my two cakes, if you want them?”
The cat ate up the two cakes, and then he licked his chops and said, “I am beginning to get an appetite; have you anything to eat?”
“Well, really,” said the parrot, who was now rather angry, “I don’t see anything more, unless you wish to eat me!” He thought the cat would be ashamed when he heard that – but the cat just looked at him and licked his chops again, — and slip! slop! gobble! down his throat went the parrot!
Then the cat started down the street. An old woman was standing by, and she had seen the whole thing, and she was shocked that the cat should eat his friend. “Why, cat!” she said, “how dreadful of you to eat your friend the parrot!”
“Parrot, indeed!” said the cat. “What’s a parrot to me? — I’ve a great mind to eat you, too.” And – before you could say “Jack Robinson” — slip! slop! gobble! down went the old woman!
Then the cat started down the road again, walking like this, because he felt so fine. Pretty soon he met a man driving a donkey. The man was beating the donkey, to hurry him up, and when he saw the cat he said, “Get out of my way, cat; I’m in a hurry and my donkey might tread on you.”
“Donkey, indeed!” said the cat, “much I care for a donkey! I have eaten five hundred cakes, I’ve eaten my friend the parrot, I’ve eaten an old woman, — what’s to hinder my eating a miserable man and a donkey?”
And slip! slop! gobble! down went the old man and the donkey.
Then the cat walked on down the road, jauntily, like this. After a little, he met a procession, coming that way. The king was at the head, walking proudly with his newly married bride, and behind him were his soldiers, marching, and behind them were ever and ever so many elephants, walking two by two. The king felt very kind to everybody, because he had just been married, and he said to the cat, “Get out of my way, pussy, get out of my way, — my elephants might hurt you.”
“Hurt me!” said the cat, shaking his fat sides. “Ho, ho! I’ve eaten five hundred cakes, I’ve eaten my friend the parrot, I’ve eaten an old woman, I’ve eaten a man and a donkey; what’s to hinder my eating a beggarly king?”
And slip! slop! gobble! down went the king; down went the queen; down went the soldiers, — and down went all the elephants!
Then the cat went on, more slowly; he had really had enough to eat, now. But a little farther on he met two land-crabs, scuttling along in the dust. “Get out of our way, pussy,” they squeaked.
“Ho, ho, ho!” cried the cat in a terrible voice.
“I’ve eaten five hundred cakes, I’ve eaten my friend the parrot, I’ve eaten an old woman, a man with a donkey, a king, a queen, his men-at-arms, and all his elephants; and now I’ll eat you too.”
And slip! slop! gobble! down went the two land-crabs.
When the land-crabs got down inside, they began to look around. It was very dark, but they could see the poor king sitting in a corner with his bride on his arm; she had fainted. Near them were the men-at-arms, treading on one another’s toes, and the elephants still trying to form in twos, — but they couldn’t because there was not room. In the opposite corner sat the old woman, and near her stood the man and his donkey. But in the other corner was a great pile of cakes, and by them perched the parrot, his feathers all drooping.
“Let’s get to work!” said the land-crabs. And snip, snap, they began to make a little hole in the side, with their sharp claws. Snip, snap, snip, snap, till it was big enough to get through. Then out they scuttled.
Then out walked the king, carrying his bride; out marched the men-at-arms; out tramped the elephants, two by two; out came the old man, beating his donkey; out walked the old woman, scolding the cat; and last of all, out hopped the parrot, holding a cake in each claw. (You remember, two cakes was all he wanted?) But the poor cat had to spend the whole day sewing up the hole in his coat!